15/07/2026
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Bec’s Unqualified Job Observation:
The Painter
Now, from the outside, this looks like one of the easiest gigs going.
Rock up in paint-covered whites that haven’t actually been white since 1989, crack open a tin, throw a roller around like you’re conducting an orchestra and call it a day.
Wrong!
These blokes spend longer taping up a room than I spend deciding what I’m having for dinner.
Every skirting board gets taped. Every power point gets taped. Every window gets taped. At this point I’m surprised they don’t tape up the bloody family dog just in case.
Then comes the cutting in.
Mate, watching a painter cut a perfectly straight line freehand is like watching a surgeon. Not a single wobble. Not a drop where it shouldn’t be. Meanwhile if the average person had a crack, it’d look like Stevie Wonder painted it during an earthquake.
Then there is the inspection at the end?
A painter will stand there staring at a wall from six different angles like he’s investigating a crime scene.
“Yeah… there’s a little run just there.”
WHERE?
I’ve looked at that wall for ten minutes and all I can see is, wall.
Then there’s the colours.
“Would you like Antique White USA, Natural White, Whisper White, Lexicon Quarter, Lexicon Half or Lexicon Full?”
Mate! They’re all bloody white.
Somehow these blokes can tell the difference by looking at the tin from three metres away. Could have possibly been the name on the tin 🤔
The thing that gets me most is they leave the job looking spotless.
Meanwhile they all look like gave themselves more top coats than the wall. They have got paint on their boots, their phone, their lunchbox and the passenger seat of the ute.
Painters have somehow convinced the rest of us that they “just paint walls.”
Nah.
Half the job is painting.
The other half is possessing the patience of a saint while pretending you can’t hear the homeowner say, “Geez… ninety bucks an hour just to use a roller.”
Stay Unhinged, Legends ✌🏼
