10/20/2026
Let's meet the youngest of our shop dogs!
🔮💀 MY NAME IS DANTE, AND I IDENTIFY AS A FU***NG NATURAL DISASTER WITH CUDDLING PRIVILEGES. 💀🔮
I’m almost a 3 year old Great Dane/Lab/Boxer mix, which means somebody apparently decided the world needed a FOUR-LEGGED WRECKING BALL WITH THE EMOTIONAL RANGE OF A TODDLER ON ESPRESSO. ☕️💀
I play like I’m auditioning for the WWE, and nobody informed me that the other dogs didn’t sign a liability waiver.
I am a meat missile that can probably outrun a greyhound. 🚀
I have the personality of someone emotionally dependent and the subtlety of a refrigerator falling down a staircase.
❤️ AFFECTIONATE? EXCUSE ME.
I am a PROFESSIONAL CUDDLER.
I will climb into your lap, rearrange your internal organs, and stare lovingly into your eyes while slowly cutting off circulation to your legs.
Personal space? Never heard of the bitch.
I am incredibly sweet, love attention, and genuinely want nothing more than to be loved.
Unfortunately, I was built like a concrete parking barrier with legs.
I am A POWERHOUSE. A MUSCULAR LITTLE MEATLOAF WITH ABSOLUTELY NO UNDERSTANDING OF PHYSICS.
Unfortunately, I was built like a battering ram at testicle height, with a tail that could collect a debt.
I introduce myself to strangers like a prison riot, just don’t move during the sniff check—once you clear security, the friendship is MANDATORY.
Might start an OnlyPaws. Someone has to fund my dog bed and furniture demolition business. 🤪
Look forward to meeting you!
