Slippery Slope Goats

06/04/2026

Goats are coming to Greven Field! Can you help us prep?

Have you 'herd'? A gathering of goats from Slippery Slope Goats will be grazing the perimeter of the park as part of a long-term plan to manage invasive plants in this 8-acre parcel. While grazing, the goats will be penned in using a GPS-enabled virtual fence and continuously monitored for the week, as well as visited at least daily in person by the herd owner. https://www.slipperyslopegoats.com

We could use several 'hands on deck' between 1-4pm at Greven (just off Route 103 in Proctorsville, 'behind' Greven Rd) to help prepare the site for the goats arrival.

* scout the area for trash/tires - there will be a dumpster on site

* w**d whack/hand-clear a narrow path around the perimeter to allow for a physical fence to barricade the goats from the back property line of Greven Rd homes

Greven Field has historically been an important and treasured community space, and will continue as a location for low-impact public recreation; the future of the parcel must also include allowing for stormwater and floodwater to enter and spread out naturally.

Part of the long-term plan is to manage invasive plants by hand (no herbicide will be used here), replant a portion of the currently open space with native vegetation (trees, shrubs, perennials and ground cover), install stakes of shrub willow and red twig dogwood to the river banks, and maintain a walking path around the perimeter (set back 50' from the water). Part of the interior space (formerly the field where the Green Monster scoreboard was) will be maintained so it's available for public activities that leave no trace.

Sign up to help out on June 5th by sending an email to [email protected]; please bring your own work gloves, dress for the weather, and wear or bring sun protection and insect/tick spray.

05/25/2026

05/22/2026

Mom visited our friends Fat and Sassy Goats today... and this clown right here insisted on smiling for the camera.

05/21/2026

The goats reported for their college grazing job this morning and apparently discovered weather for the first time.

Thanks to the NoFence virtual collars, there’s no fence dragging anymore… which means the goats now have unlimited free time to become HR nightmares.

Today’s incidents included:
• Velcro refusing to exit the forest cover until her “compensation package” is reviewed.
• Ron demanding a rain jacket, a warm beverage, and PTO.
• Rudy screaming at the sky like he personally scheduled the storm.

The rest of the crew wandered across campus looking exactly like college freshmen headed to an 8am class they regret signing up for. Half asleep, wet, offended, and surviving entirely on snacks. 🐐🌧️

05/20/2026

The goats have officially made it to the big city for their latest grazing job.

The locals seem slightly confused (most have never seen an electric fence before), the goats seem extremely confident, and traffic may or may not have stopped for a minor escapee incident.

Nothing says “urban landscaping” quite like a trailer full of goats screaming for snacks while Velcro acts like she owns the place along with her posse Ron and Rudy. 🐐🌆

05/14/2026

Huge thank you to everyone who came out today to help work through the herd! We drew blood on the whole crew, strapped on NoFence virtual GPS collars, and sorted goats into two highly organized management groups: “going grazing” and “staying home plotting chaos.”

We’d also like to formally apologize for the behavior of Velcro, Ron, and Rudy… who apparently believed today’s goal was to test everyone’s cardio, patience, and ability to hold onto a goat. Somehow no one died, only a few fences lost their dignity, and we’re calling that a success.

Seriously though — days like this take a small army, and we’re incredibly grateful for all the help, laughs, and extra sets of hands. We couldn’t do it without you all!

05/12/2026

If you ever wanted to add a little chaos to your life, I highly recommend owning:

* a large herd of goats
* a bear dog
* and a 3½-year-old feral farm child.

This evening I’m sitting in the kitchen on a Zoom meeting with the local select board, trying to professionally convince them to hire us to graze a knotw**d problem. I’m feeling prepared. Responsible, even.

Then my phone rings.

It’s Mr. Robert — as Adelaide affectionately calls him — the guy I lease the farm from. And a call from him this late is NEVER good news.

“Great news!” he says.
“ALL of the goats are out.”

Wonderful.

I fling the door open and Bear Dog blasts past me at the speed of light doing *the bark* — you know, the deep demonic bellow that only comes out when there’s either a bear… or the possibility of violence.

Right behind him is the herding dog.
The KEY employee in this entire operation.

Straight through their virtual fence collars.

(Although honestly, at least I knew where they were.)

Herding dog comes back on recall.
Bear dog? A mile in the wrong direction and fully committed to his side quest.

So now the herding dog, the feral toddler, and the exhausted goat farmer pile into the truck while I’m simultaneously phoning a friend to recover Bear Dog and sending live location screenshots like we’re coordinating a hostage negotiation.

We get to the farm and, thankfully, the goats go back in pretty easily.

(I’m good at this. Occasionally.)

Then we notice one black goat still missing.

So I go sprinting toward him when suddenly I hear a noise coming from…

…the liquid manure pit.

Friends.

Never — and I truly mean NEVER — did I think I would spend part of my evening fishing a goat out of a liquid manure lagoon.

But there he was. Just floating around making poor life choices.

Mr. Robert comes to the rescue because he’s tall enough to basically hang himself off the concrete curb above the pit while I stand there questioning every decision that led me to this exact moment.

Anyway, if anyone from the select board is reading this:
I would still very much like that grazing contract. We are clearly highly skilled professionals.

05/02/2026

The doeling fairy strikes again! This momma blessed us with 3 beautiful healthy doe kids this morning and she has enough milk to feed them and then some.

04/24/2026