08/30/2023
I AM A SEAFARER
and my dreams are not mine alone.
I sailed the seven seas, carrying with me the desires of my family, mine only second, for I know that if they are happy, I am happy as well...
even though...
Even though sometimes... I am not.
To show them my weakness when I'm away somehow breaks the trance that ALL IS WELL. That everything is fine. That most days are sunny and the raging storms are nothing more than a twist that hypes a boring day of smooth sailing. But I, being there, know the truth. It is not.
The snapshots of traveling to beautiful places, passports filled with stamps of lands far far away, the lush souvenirs and mandatory smiles that we're supposed to brandish our newsfeed are nothing more than fronts - for they are only a small percentage of what we actually do.
The promise of a grand adventure and getting paid higher than most are like the golden apples of Hesperides - tempting, guarded by a silent dragon called Time. I've seen most of my old colleagues get trapped, and heard stories countlessly about how they cannot escape the cycle and wished they stopped earlier. Many times I felt imprisoned as well, for I know that if I made the same mistakes they did, I'll end up just like them: a little bit well off, but mostly dead in the eyes. Bound in chains by the promise of a better life as their children grew without a father figure beside them.
I love my profession, and no doubt it helped me erase the nightmares I had of me ending up with a job that won't allow me to go and see this beautiful world. But it's exhausting and around it looms so many uncertainties.
Thus, I have a message to you who reads this, whether you be family, a friend or someone who just learned of our day to day struggles - a genuine smile or tight hug won't cost you.
I may try to look tough most of the time, but I too need warmth and comfort. Please be kind, okay?
I AM A SEAFARER.
And I ,too, am human.