01/22/2020
My goodness my 2019 year came with many different challenges for me to overcome; specifically, the last 6 months, which brought new health roadblocks for me to overcome in relation to my Lung Cancer.
As many of you know I have been quiet/healing/fighting for 3 years this week. So many of you check on me privately by offering support in so many ways, like giving cards, gifts, and $. Your support for me on this journey is appreciated. Thank you for your prayers you continually give with love and such wonderful kindness.
I wanted to give you some updates about my journey; it hasn’t been easy, especially this past year, so here is what has happened recently:
In June, I was given an opportunity to be a part of a study at HCI that was designed to help me manage the pain, my weight, and my depression. I was so excited, and with my family and Dennis's support I rented out my home in St. George and moved to the Salt Lake area for what I had hoped would be 3 months but turned into 8 months. I looked forward to learning techniques to manage the many side effects of my Lung Cancer, things that I’d never known before this disease. I was hopeful for the first tine in a long while.
Within three weeks of starting the HCI study, I was sent in to have my heart checked to determine how rigorous I would be able to exercise or do certain physical activities. I was sent to a Cardiologist in Park City, and they ran all the normal tests, while there they determined that I had a silent heart attack. I was terrified, and disappointment with the news. Immediately, the doctor wanted me hospitalized and wanted to do the Angiogram first thing in the morning. However, I needed a minute to process the news, it was a shock. So, they decided to put a heart monitor on me and schedule a Cardiac CT scan first thing in the morning instead of hospitalization that night. All this news scared the hell out of all of us, because of the urgency of needing to check the CT scan. The worst things about the silent heart attack was how much I was in physical pain! I was coughing and weak.
I was devastated that this new twist compromised the ability to be a part of the HCI study and I would no longer be able to participate. The mental acuity it takes to stay in a healthy place has got the best of me at times. The pain wears you down. I’m learning that this is the part of my life that I must learn acceptance towards my body and what what it means to live and function with only one lung.
After the CT scan and blood work the doctors discovered that I have 2 new nodules and a tumor in my left lung. It is Cancer. Slow growing. Finally, on Thursday it was diagnosed , "Indolent" which means we will watch it with no treatment plan until it is necessary to intervene. Instead I will need to continue to get Scans every 6 months.
Good news, except, this news comes at the same time I'm waiting for an additional biopsy result on another tumor. The doctors found a mass on my right Adrenal Gland. As I write this post my stomach is all over the place. It feels empty, anxious, and nauseated. I'm sitting here waiting for results. Asking for prayers, energy, and love today. My hope is intact, I’m praying that I will get good news instead of more complications.
Some complications I have been living with since my surgery to remove the tumor from lung have been both expensive and especially challenging to recover from. My diaphragm has moved up into the cavity on the right side and causes labored breathing and some pain. The area continues to atrophy and gather small amounts of fluid. I have a procedure called Pleurocentesis: to remove the fluid. It hurts. They numb using a local. I am awake during this procedure. A needle is inserted into the chest cavity and the fluid is removed. The other consistent procedure is called OMM: it is a manipulation to move the ribs and nerves around the incision area. The recovery takes a a couple days from both procedures. I will continue to have OMM until the insurance denies the procedure, however long that is.
Over the Holiday’s we took a family trip to Las Vegas and I let my guard down. I know that because of this, I’ve been diagnosed Immunodeficient; lack of sleep, and my PH balance with the right proteins serves this disorder well. It plays a major factor for flying. I’m not able to fly. The lack of oxygen has grounded me, so to speak. I love traveling. Overcoming these restrictions have been the most challenging as all, the moment I let my guard down for even a moment, I get sick. Unfortunately, the last day of our 6-day trip I ended up at the hospital with pneumonia and brochities. During my hospital stay, that is when the doctors discovered a mass on my Adrenal Gland.
Starting this new round of anxiety while I wait for the results.
However, as I know I have difficulty traveling with one lung. I am grateful for all of my adventures I’ve been able to experience, all the places I’ve been, like: Guatemala, Antequa, Belize, China, Viet Nam, Canada, New York, Hawaii, Alaska, and many more states. Even after I was unable to participate in the HCI study, Dennis and I had an opportunity to go on a long road trip up through Canada, Alaska, and then we cruised to Van Cover and flew to SLC from there. We spent 4 weeks driving, playing, and enjoying this new way to explore the world. Our newfound polarity around time made this the most excellent of Adventures.
There is a grieving process that happens by default and catches you off guard. It’s a grieving of the loss of an organ, the betrayal of what you knew as your body, and a life you would not have imagined.
For now, I'm fighting depression, pain, and this is now my new reality. Cancer is brutal mentally, physically, and emotionally. Bless Dennis (As his own fight with Cancer took a back seat to mine), my family, my kid's, friends, and relationships; because, as hard as I fight to not to be in a Victim mentality it gets me sometimes. I need to remember that I am a Victor. A Warrior. Building my armor now...... Sometimes though, I feel like I am a drag to be around. Even though; more often than not, I am resting or coughing. I got it in my head that people didn't want me around. That I was a burden somehow. This was new to me too. Everything about me is different and that's okay. I'm learning to love and respect where I am right now. I'm limited in a way that is new to me.
There is a grieving process that happens inside a Cancer fight. Grieving the loss of an organ and the loss of who you knew to be you. There is also a brilliance in the rebirth.
While I am still learning to love and respect me as I am, I want to acknowledge that I might have dropped the ball on trusted clients, family, and networking. I want to apologize for that piece. I isolated for a minute or maybe 8 🙂 months. I can feel it lifting with the love ❤️ and encouragement of many. The Lord has blessed me with old friends, new friends, and intimate relationships to see me through. Carry me when I wouldn’t stand up. I know He has sent out an army to stand for me. In the middle of my heartache I am rescued by pure Agape love. I will accept the army to fight for me when I'm in the dark.
So, for now, all I'm doing now is waiting for the new results. Then a plan will be made for next steps. I am counting my blessings, and I am especially grateful for the family that has been renting have been one of my greatest blessings.
I am a part of an Unstoppable Movement. I am unstoppable.
“Jason Sisneros”
The Misfit Nation is tight there if I need them.
“There is always a step small enough from where we are to get us to where we want to be. If we take that small step, there's always another we can take, and eventually it all is achievable.”
I live and breathe for the promise!
My angels are:
Macrae Marrelli
Dave and Ramona Blanchard
Faron McCuistion
Jan Searle
Shirley Christensen my mom and confidant
Katie Nielson
Dennis Vallejos
Sherry Lynn Vallejos
LeAnna Beagley my sister and my safe place
Tiffanie Anderson
Tracie Yost
Aditi Aromi
Julie Timms
Shantel Tate
Alisha Brunson
Janet Lewis
My apologies and gratefulness for their patience.
Joy Howes
Brian Dawes
Tiffanie Leimback
Natalee Fox Johnson
Kirsten Allen
Amanda Ferris
Andrew Farr
Scotty Quinn
Shantel McBride
Shaison P. Ouseph
Joni Newkirk
Amanda Hott
Debbie Gasho
