25/03/2026
So yesterday, I was swimming around in an attic crawlspace looking for flotsam and jetsam that had possibly washed up in the wrong attic shore, and then I saw this m**o beside me and I lost my mother-f**king s**t. I died... it was probably the biggest panic attack I've ever had. I screamed and screamed and threw myself out of the attic. Usually, I climb down onto a door, a dresser, then a step stool. But I skipped all the things. I had hives head to toe because I'm allergic to being scared. Then people told me it was probably just hibernating, so I womaned up and checked out my future steering wheel cover, and my man hadn't moved. Tomorrow, I'm gonna throw something. I'm pretty sure that's the right steps to testing for life. Not that I'm a doctor or anything. Just seems like common sense. Oh, and by the way, if you think that's just a beam, you look at other pictures and you look up, you look at what's over that beam, and you know it's not a beam. Also, look at the bottom. Does the bottom of a beam usually have a tail that trails off? I don't think so. 🤯😱🏠👻💀😂🏃♀️💥😲👺🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱
