Benj & Simmo's Firewood Sales

07/05/2018

Attn Customers
As a result of the tense political landscape, the GFC and rising sea levels Benj & Simmos Firewood sales are unable to supply the area with prime quality firewood.
All disappointment should be directed toward your local member, and the hole in the ozone layer.

13/04/2012

This Theresa is a tad bigger than a normal load (its just what i had on the ute to deliver today). Take one layer of logs off the top and thats what i'd normally deliver for $130. Cheers

10/04/2012

Did you wake up this morning, pull the blanket off you face, take a breath, and feel like you'd be kicked in the teeth?

Benj and Simmo's Firewood Sales want to take this horrible experience of waking up to a bitterly cold house, and turn it into a positive. Two out of two customers agree, that a woodfire is the only way to maintain a toasty house all winter long.
You want to live in an energy saving, 15 degree household all winter? Your having a joke. Benj and Simmo maintain that if you can't get a tan from sitting in front of their wood on fire, that you'll get your money back.
So next council pick up, leave your fancy inverter heater, your designer foot heater fan, or your fake wannabe gas fireplace on the kerb and give us a call. Dont have a fireplace? Easy. Roll a 44 gallon drum into the kitchen and light the fire in that- its a no brainer.

- Heat your house with gas.. Six hundred and sixty dollars.
- Heat your house with electricity.. Five hundred and seventy dollars.
- Heat your house with brotherly love.. Free

- Heat your house with a heaped ute load of prime quality Benj and Simmo's wood = Priceless (and a donation of $130)

Call Simmo on 0408002198

(ps. We are actually selling wood)

06/09/2010

04/08/2010

13/07/2010

Your local lumberjack's second batch of merch has been ordered and is in print.
So get your 13 big ones in and gain ultimate street cred with a B & S Firewood shirt.
Basically, if you buy a shirt, you will instantly become a member to every club that was ever invented, worldwide, because you will be awesome.

20/05/2010

For ruddy good wood at $150 a ute load, its time to pick up the phone and give your friendly local lumberjacks Benj & Simmo a ring!

28/04/2010

Season: Summer only. ie. Only T shirts. T's are to be worn all year round. No Jumpers. Jumpers are for sissies. Warmth isn't to be supplied by clothing. Warmth is supplied by woodfire.

Colours: White. Relax, you won't get dirty. Benj and Simmo have done all the dirty work for you. Your wood is cut, split and delivered to your door.

Sizes: L, XL, XXL etc. Real men's sizes only. If the shirt doesn't fit, you aren't fit to wear the shirt. Try Cotton On or Supre'. They might stock your size.

Cut: Regular fit. None of these slim fit, skinny, tight girly T's. If you wan't it to be a slim fit, put on some muscle.

Wear your T in winter, get yourself real cold and then sit by the fire and watch a Benj and Simmo's firewood log burn. Glorious.