Durham Sweep Chimney Sweep.

Durham Sweep Chimney Sweep. Chimney Sweep. All types of appliances catered for. Latest equipment and traditional.
(245)

No sweeping today, I got a surprise, A trip down to Morcambe, Mrs Sweep is so Wise, I stood next to Eric, I felt a conn...
27/05/2026

No sweeping today,
I got a surprise,
A trip down to Morcambe,
Mrs Sweep is so Wise,

I stood next to Eric,
I felt a connection,
With the sun shining down,
It looked like a reflection!

ON YE BIKE!Binchester Brenda,She’s down on her luck,We stopped with our e bikes,And a photo we took,Brenda’s quite famou...
26/05/2026

ON YE BIKE!

Binchester Brenda,
She’s down on her luck,
We stopped with our e bikes,
And a photo we took,

Brenda’s quite famous,
Not a worry or care,
8 years she’s been stood here,
With her brown straggly hair,

Out in all weathers,
In her bright high viz coat,
She’s parked on the green,
In a place quite remote,

She’s had dreams of travel,
But not anymore,
Brenda can’t move,
She’s chained to the floor,

So if you pass by,
Stop for a while,
Say “Hello Brenda”,
She might crack a smile!

GREGGS!I sit outside the Greggs cafe’,Getting prepared to start my day,Watching workers passing by,Hi viz jackets - shir...
20/05/2026

GREGGS!

I sit outside the Greggs cafe’,
Getting prepared to start my day,
Watching workers passing by,
Hi viz jackets - shirt and tie,

All stop for a bacon butty,
Washed down with cups of tea,
That’s the way to start the day,
That’s how it’s meant to be,

Keep your pots of yoghurt
Or muesli - tastes like dust,
Have a breakfast butty,
Egg & bacon is a must,

Forget about the diet,
It’s proper grub you need,
The good old British breakfast,
It helps us Brits succeed!

STUCK!A problem near Alston,A lorry owned by Dove,Severely stuck - wheels deep in muck,Needs intervention from above,Alo...
20/05/2026

STUCK!

A problem near Alston,
A lorry owned by Dove,
Severely stuck - wheels deep in muck,
Needs intervention from above,

Along came Nigel Ridley,
He has what it takes,
Along with winch - the job’s a cinch,
Not all heroes wear a cape!

OLD SWEEP!Now I’m getting on a bit,I thought I’d better mention,I’m officially an OAP,Time to claim my pension,Although ...
14/05/2026

OLD SWEEP!

Now I’m getting on a bit,
I thought I’d better mention,
I’m officially an OAP,
Time to claim my pension,

Although I still sweep chimneys,
I’ve have to draw the line,
Tall ones are a no no,
Single storey will be fine,

We saw this on our cycle ride,
It’s what we do for leisure,
It’s our maximum height for sweeping,
See the photograph to measure,

No more multi storey,
Only sweep in sunny weather,
Canal boats my speciality,
Before retiring altogether!

BUM WRAP!Neville Jones he smacked her bot,Did she like it? Not a lot,Her attention he did seek,But ended up before the b...
13/05/2026

BUM WRAP!

Neville Jones he smacked her bot,
Did she like it? Not a lot,
Her attention he did seek,
But ended up before the beak,

Sexual harassment was his crime,
A serious offence- he could serve time,
Although it’s just a little smack,
It’s too late now - no turning back,

Years ago when I was young,
Men often tapped girls on the bum,
Now men only tap their phones,
Make a note please Neville Jones!

WHOPPA!Sunday night Is special,We like to do our thing,Date night out with Mrs Sweep,We go to Burger King,I asked her wh...
10/05/2026

WHOPPA!

Sunday night Is special,
We like to do our thing,
Date night out with Mrs Sweep,
We go to Burger King,

I asked her what she fancied,
She said The Whoppa Meal,
With added fries put on the side,
You get a special deal,

I had a little problem,
My wallet I’d forgot,
My favourite nurse got out her purse,
She then paid for the lot!

06/05/2026

LOOK AT THE VIEW!

A lovely day in Silloth,
The sun was breaking through,
A statue by Ray Lonsdale,
Its title - Look at the View,

A man and his dog,
His favourite spot,
He’s no longer here,
But wont be forgot,

It’s well worth the travel,
Such a wonderful day,
A trip out to Silloth,
At the beginning of May!

MAIL ORDER BRIDE! My mail order bride, She arrived ye...
02/05/2026

MAIL ORDER BRIDE!

My mail order bride,
She arrived yesterday,
I’ve waited a while,
She’s from far away,

I ordered in April,
They shipped her from China, Made from the finest latex,
There isn’t any finer,

I paid extra for a uniform,
She’s a lookalike professor, Neatly packed inside the box,
Along with a compressor,

So curvaceous is her figure,
She’s looking very fit,
Increase or decrease pressure,
By the valve that’s in her tit,

I pumped her up ,
That very first night,
Whilst caressing her neck,
I started to bite,

This caused an explosion,
I was blown off my feet, She flew out the room,
There she laid in the street,

The traffic all stopped,
It started to queue,
I looked from my window,
If only they knew,

My mail order bride,
Laid there deflated,
I stood and looked on,
Feeling downright frustrated!

Address

1 School Square
Cockfield
DL135DL

Telephone

+447749622171

Website

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