Durham Sweep Chimney Sweep.

Durham Sweep Chimney Sweep. Chimney Sweep. All types of appliances catered for. Latest equipment and traditional.
(245)

DONNY NO MATES!Donald standing all alone,World leaders looking on,All discuss the glorious day,When Donald Trump is gone...
18/06/2026

DONNY NO MATES!

Donald standing all alone,
World leaders looking on,
All discuss the glorious day,
When Donald Trump is gone,

The USA’s severely damaged,
Will take years to fully recover,
Thanks for nothing Donald Trump,
Your reign will soon be over!

GREEN FINGERS!Now we’re getting on a bit,Gardening is a chore,Suzie mentioned gravel,To spread across the floor,No more ...
18/06/2026

GREEN FINGERS!

Now we’re getting on a bit,
Gardening is a chore,
Suzie mentioned gravel,
To spread across the floor,

No more need for digging,
Low maintenance sounded nice,
I popped down to the builders yard,
I asked them for a price,

A ton was duly ordered ,
Then delivered on a lorry,
It had a crane to lift it off,
There was no need to worry

The gravel needed spreading,
Of course I had a plan,
I also bought a shovel,
For my partner named Suzanne,

The job was quickly finished
I was quite
surprised,
I was there to keep her right,
On hand to supervise,

Suzie did a marvellous job,
This girl won’t be defeated,
Once she starts she never stops,
Until the job’s completed!

AWAYDAY!We often go out cycling,On bright and sunny days,So we headed off to Cramlington,Along The Waggonways,There we s...
17/06/2026

AWAYDAY!

We often go out cycling,
On bright and sunny days,
So we headed off to Cramlington,
Along The Waggonways,

There we spied a silver spoon,
Standing there so proud,
Next we cycled down a lane,
We came across a Shroud,

At Blyth we stopped for coffee,
Suzie had a coke,
A day out by the seaside,
With lots of other folk,

It’s there we saw the beach huts,
Multi coloured - very bright,
Cycling in the sea air,
We’re sure to sleep tonight,

Everytime that we go cycling,
Admiring glances we attract,
Our bikes are big and orange,
Everybody love’s our Trax!

No sweeping today, I got a surprise, A trip down to Morcambe, Mrs Sweep is so Wise, I stood next to Eric, I felt a conn...
27/05/2026

No sweeping today,
I got a surprise,
A trip down to Morcambe,
Mrs Sweep is so Wise,

I stood next to Eric,
I felt a connection,
With the sun shining down,
It looked like a reflection!

ON YE BIKE!Binchester Brenda,She’s down on her luck,We stopped with our e bikes,And a photo we took,Brenda’s quite famou...
26/05/2026

ON YE BIKE!

Binchester Brenda,
She’s down on her luck,
We stopped with our e bikes,
And a photo we took,

Brenda’s quite famous,
Not a worry or care,
8 years she’s been stood here,
With her brown straggly hair,

Out in all weathers,
In her bright high viz coat,
She’s parked on the green,
In a place quite remote,

She’s had dreams of travel,
But not anymore,
Brenda can’t move,
She’s chained to the floor,

So if you pass by,
Stop for a while,
Say “Hello Brenda”,
She might crack a smile!

GREGGS!I sit outside the Greggs cafe’,Getting prepared to start my day,Watching workers passing by,Hi viz jackets - shir...
20/05/2026

GREGGS!

I sit outside the Greggs cafe’,
Getting prepared to start my day,
Watching workers passing by,
Hi viz jackets - shirt and tie,

All stop for a bacon butty,
Washed down with cups of tea,
That’s the way to start the day,
That’s how it’s meant to be,

Keep your pots of yoghurt
Or muesli - tastes like dust,
Have a breakfast butty,
Egg & bacon is a must,

Forget about the diet,
It’s proper grub you need,
The good old British breakfast,
It helps us Brits succeed!

STUCK!A problem near Alston,A lorry owned by Dove,Severely stuck - wheels deep in muck,Needs intervention from above,Alo...
20/05/2026

STUCK!

A problem near Alston,
A lorry owned by Dove,
Severely stuck - wheels deep in muck,
Needs intervention from above,

Along came Nigel Ridley,
He has what it takes,
Along with winch - the job’s a cinch,
Not all heroes wear a cape!

OLD SWEEP!Now I’m getting on a bit,I thought I’d better mention,I’m officially an OAP,Time to claim my pension,Although ...
14/05/2026

OLD SWEEP!

Now I’m getting on a bit,
I thought I’d better mention,
I’m officially an OAP,
Time to claim my pension,

Although I still sweep chimneys,
I’ve have to draw the line,
Tall ones are a no no,
Single storey will be fine,

We saw this on our cycle ride,
It’s what we do for leisure,
It’s our maximum height for sweeping,
See the photograph to measure,

No more multi storey,
Only sweep in sunny weather,
Canal boats my speciality,
Before retiring altogether!

BUM WRAP!Neville Jones he smacked her bot,Did she like it? Not a lot,Her attention he did seek,But ended up before the b...
13/05/2026

BUM WRAP!

Neville Jones he smacked her bot,
Did she like it? Not a lot,
Her attention he did seek,
But ended up before the beak,

Sexual harassment was his crime,
A serious offence- he could serve time,
Although it’s just a little smack,
It’s too late now - no turning back,

Years ago when I was young,
Men often tapped girls on the bum,
Now men only tap their phones,
Make a note please Neville Jones!

WHOPPA!Sunday night Is special,We like to do our thing,Date night out with Mrs Sweep,We go to Burger King,I asked her wh...
10/05/2026

WHOPPA!

Sunday night Is special,
We like to do our thing,
Date night out with Mrs Sweep,
We go to Burger King,

I asked her what she fancied,
She said The Whoppa Meal,
With added fries put on the side,
You get a special deal,

I had a little problem,
My wallet I’d forgot,
My favourite nurse got out her purse,
She then paid for the lot!

Address

1 School Square
Cockfield
DL135DL

Telephone

+447749622171

Website

Alerts

Be the first to know and let us send you an email when Durham Sweep Chimney Sweep. posts news and promotions. Your email address will not be used for any other purpose, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

Contact The Business

Send a message to Durham Sweep Chimney Sweep.:

Shortcuts

Share

Category