10/12/2025
Some of the biggest hazards on the road arenโt speeding, weather, or potholes โ itโs the crawling halfwits who glue themselves to 25mph and then act personally offended when someone overtakes their rolling embarrassment. These are the same geniuses who think, โIโm dragging my arse here, so everyone else must too.โ Absolute dictators of the slow lane, self-appointed traffic wardens with the IQ of damp cardboard.
What really cooks my brain is how they behave when you finally get a safe stretch and go past them โ as if youโve just committed an act of national treason. No mate, you were driving like a sedated goat and I simply refused to join your parade of incompetence.
But the elite fannies?
The Olympic-level crybabies?
The ones who get overtaken fair and square and immediately turn into hotline whistleblowers, phoning your company to report โdangerous drivingโ because their ego snapped like a breadstick under pressure. Suddenly the story becomes a Hollywood chase scene, all because their pride couldnโt handle being passed by someone who actually knows how to use a pedal.
If these people put half the effort into driving that they put into fabricating drama, the roads would be a safer, saner place for all of us.
