05/02/2026
BREAKING NEWS: Larry the Downing Street Cat collapsed this evening on news that he may be on the verge of getting his SEVENTH new owner in 9 years! He was heard to say "Each one has been more F***K** useless than the last" before passing out.
A police officer scooped him off the road and has taken him to Dunkin Donuts on his lunch break in the hope of reviving him.