02/28/2026
Despite the epic delay, the situation remains stuck in neutral. The defendant continues to game the system by hitting the snooze button on the trial, consistently hiring new lawyers to delay the proceedings, because why rush, right? Notably, it's come to our attention that he's allegedly breaking the rules by wielding a plunger and calling himself a plumber, despite being strictly amateur hour. He persistently drives around in a vehicle hawking Jacoby Plumbing and partners up with Karl, the plumbing kingpin. These never-ending delays are a joke and undermine the justice system's credibility; nonetheless, we're still committed to seeing justice served with a side of accountability.