05/25/2025
🌧️🔨🧰
At this point, being a roofer in Pennsylvania isn’t a job—it’s competitive swimming with power tools. 🏊♂️🔩 It’s rained so much lately I saw a crew foreman shingle a roof from a kayak. 🚣♂️ My toolbelt’s growing mold, my work boots have become aquariums 🐟👢, and my ladder’s got algae.
You can’t even guess the season anymore. One minute it's 70° and you’re sweating through your harness 😅, the next it’s 43°, sideways rain 🌬️🌧️, and you’re trying to flash a window with frozen fingers. I declare I saw moss growing on a pallet of siding in the Home Depot lot. 🪴🪚 Harrisburg looks like the Pacific Northwest tried drywall. And Pittsburgh? Still waiting on sunlight ☁️ and a decent sealant cure time 🕓.
I saw a JLG lift on skis floating down a street in Lancaster. 🛟 Someone check if Lowe’s is handing out free ponchos with every order of OSB. 🪵🧥 And Philly? Word is contractors have started using canoes to haul Tyvek rolls to job sites. 🛶📦
Even the manufacturers are giving in—ProVia’s thinking about making snorkel-compatible windows 🤿🪟, and I heard GAF might start branding their shingles as roof rafts. Guys are trading their tape measures for bilge pumps. ⚓📏 If it keeps up, we’ll be installing drip edge from jet skis. 🌊🔧
If it rains one more time, I’m applying to be a pool installer—it’s the only thing thriving right now. 🏊♀️ Somebody call ABC Supply and tell ‘em to start stocking umbrellas ☂️ in bulk. And can someone swing by 84 Lumber to see if they’ve started selling ark kits yet? 🛶🧱
This is contractor life in Pennsylvania... in May!!! 🧱💦🔧