05/23/2026
The aardwolf is one of Africa's most misunderstood creatures, a member of the hyena family that has absolutely nothing in common with its bone crunching cousins, surviving entirely on termites and consuming up to 300,000 of them in a single night using a long sticky tongue. Over millions of years of evolution its teeth have shrunk to useless pegs, making it completely incapable of chewing meat, and its entire defense strategy consists of raising its mane to look bigger, doubling back on its own tracks and releasing a foul smelling liquid from its a**l glands on anything chasing it. Despite looking like a hyena it is frequently killed by African farmers who wrongly believe it attacks livestock, when in reality it is eating the termites that are destroying those same farmers fields. The aardwolf has no weapons, no speed and no real plan beyond smelling terrible and yet it has survived perfectly well for 15 million years.
