10/17/2026
Well… we finally upgraded the company vehicle. 🚀🎨
Introducing the newest addition to the Modern Painters fleet, a $250,000 Tesla Roadster. Fully wrapped, fully electric, and completely incapable of carrying a single 5 gallon bucket of paint. 😭
0–60 in under 2 seconds. Still showing up 15 minutes late to your free estimate.
Our accountant has resigned. Our insurance agent blocked our number. And the crew is still asking where they’re supposed to put the ladders.
But hey, at least we’ll be the fastest painting company in Arizona. 🏎️💨
Modern Painters LLC - We paint houses, not make good financial decisions.
Disclaimer: This is satire. Please don’t call asking for a ride to your estimate. 😂