08/14/2026
Please Welcome Our Newest Office Assistant Dreamer!
Her qualifications include:
✅ Excellent attention to snacks
✅ Strong opinions about workplace policies
✅ Frequent desk-side supervision
✅ Absolutely no respect for personal space
✅ Works for mealworms
After being attacked by an unknown animal, this tough girl was left with two puncture wounds and a large gash near her neck and breast. She was immediately promoted to Office Assistant—which included a private office, around-the-clock care, and a one-week indoor quarantine while she recovered.
We’re happy to report that our newest employee is healing well! Unfortunately, her productivity was questionable, and she spent most of her time demanding snacks and filing complaints with management. She has managed to lay and egg under the desk in a corner though.
Around here, we take care of every member of the Backyard Harvest Solutions team—even the feathered ones.