The Slower Mower, LLC

The Slower Mower, LLC Haircuts for your grass!💈 Maintaining properties in the Tri-Cities, to include Colonial Heights, Hopewell, Petersburg, North Dinwiddie, and Matoaca.

Leave your leaves to me. 🍁🍂The Slower Mower will blow those leaves to smithereens. 💪🍂Call or Text (804) 704-0193 to ensu...
11/01/2025

Leave your leaves to me. 🍁🍂

The Slower Mower will blow those leaves to smithereens. 💪🍂

Call or Text (804) 704-0193 to ensure your property looks beautiful for Thanksgiving. 😍🦃

PSA: The Slower Mower is fully booked, so please refrain from sending any new Clients my way until further notice. 🫶Than...
07/24/2025

PSA: The Slower Mower is fully booked, so please refrain from sending any new Clients my way until further notice. 🫶

Thank you for your attention to this matter. ⚔️

www.TheSlowerMower.com 🐢

Why did the Turtle cross the road ... on a Monday morning? 🐢So he could use The Slower Mower as a vessel to wish you a T...
06/09/2025

Why did the Turtle cross the road ... on a Monday morning? 🐢

So he could use The Slower Mower as a vessel to wish you a Turtlely Cool Week! 😎

Patience + Perseverance. 🫵

Slow and Steady Wins The Race. 🏁

www.TheSlowerMower.com 🐢

Darcella rocks! 🤘This is my artistic lawn client, Darcella. She asked me to bring her some rocks, in order to recreate h...
06/02/2025

Darcella rocks! 🤘

This is my artistic lawn client, Darcella. She asked me to bring her some rocks, in order to recreate her Flower Bed, which I happily obliged. 🪨

She surprised me with this turtley-cool, hand-painted rock, featuring The Slower Mower! 🐢

I’m so grateful for my clients, as they always surprise me with wonderful gifts, in the form of personalized rocks, turtle T-shirts, cupcakes, homemade cookies, ice pops, etc. 🙌

Thank you, Darcella … you ROCK! 💓

Psalm 18:46 ✝️

www.TheSlowerMower.com 🐢

Breaking News: The Slower Mower saved the life of another lost turtle today. 💪Saving turtles is like going to the gym; i...
05/06/2025

Breaking News: The Slower Mower saved the life of another lost turtle today. 💪

Saving turtles is like going to the gym; it doesn't count unless you post about it on Social Media for attention. 😏

www.TheSlowerMower.com 🐢

Another day ... another lost Turtle’s life saved. 💓These 3 turtles were on a path of self-destruction, but were given a ...
05/01/2025

Another day ... another lost Turtle’s life saved. 💓

These 3 turtles were on a path of self-destruction, but were given a second chance ... and a New Life ... thanks to the compassion and patience of The Slower Mower. 💪

Luke 15:4-7 🐑

www.TheSlowerMower.com 🐢

The Weedeating Warrior ⚔️“Why are you out here mean-mugging?” asked Sue, as The Slower Mower was fiercely slicing off th...
04/26/2025

The Weedeating Warrior ⚔️

“Why are you out here mean-mugging?” asked Sue, as The Slower Mower was fiercely slicing off the heads of the foolish w**ds who dared to engage him in an act of war. 🌾

It was the look of extreme focus. 👁

After she made the comment, I started catching myself harboring the same look while battling w**ds on my other properties. Weeds are my enemy. They receive zero compassion. They all must die. ☠️

I literally find myself marching through the grass, at an elevated rate of speed, with my finger on the w**deater trigger, as if I’m carrying a machine gun … when I see a single w**d standing on the other side of the yard. 🎋

The audacity. 😡

This pesky w**d thought he escaped the wrath of The Slower Mower's Zero Turn, assuming he slipped through the cracks and would live another day? 🫣

Oh, Heavens, No. 🚫

You will meet your fate. 🫵

Off with your head! ⚔️

Even after the w**deater is back on the truck … if I see an arrogant w**d still standing … I’ll march over and rip off its head with my bare hands. 🤌

Every w**d reading this right now is officially on notice. 👇

Dear Weeds,

I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. What I do know is that I have a very particular set of skills … skills I have acquired over a very long career in Lawn Care. Skills that make me a nightmare for w**ds like you. If you stop growing and being ugly, that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you; I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you. 🩸

Sincerely,

The Slower Mower ⚔️

www.TheSlowerMower.com 🐢

Mo' Money ... Mo' Mulching. 💸Mulch is currently on sale, which means you keep Mo' Money in your pocket ... or inside you...
03/27/2025

Mo' Money ... Mo' Mulching. 💸

Mulch is currently on sale, which means you keep Mo' Money in your pocket ... or inside your overpriced designer handbag. 👜

The grass is gonna start growing consistently in April, which means The Slower Mower might feel less inspired to tackle a bunch of additional projects, as Lake Life will be calling for my free time. 🌅

If you wanna make your flowerbeds look as fancy as your handbag, NOW is the time to slide in those DMs ... and you got the digits. 👇

(804) 704-0193. 📞

Happy St. Patrick's Day to your GREEN grass! 🍀Spring is springing, and it's time to start slow-mowing! 🐢Get added to my ...
03/17/2025

Happy St. Patrick's Day to your GREEN grass! 🍀

Spring is springing, and it's time to start slow-mowing! 🐢

Get added to my route NOW, by calling or texting the number listed. 👇

Lawn Care, Leaf Clean-up, Mulching, Tree Trimming, Quality Conversation, and FREE pun jokes! 😆

www.TheSlowerMower.com 🐢

I'm gonna go out on a limb and assume that you have some tree limbs that could use a trim. 🪚The Slower Mower wishes he S...
03/15/2025

I'm gonna go out on a limb and assume that you have some tree limbs that could use a trim. 🪚

The Slower Mower wishes he SAW you more often. 😍

Pun intended. 😘

You got the digits. 👇

How much mulch could The Slower Mower mulch if The Slower Mower could mulch very much mulch? 🤔Do your Flower Beds need s...
03/14/2025

How much mulch could The Slower Mower mulch if The Slower Mower could mulch very much mulch? 🤔

Do your Flower Beds need some love? 💓

I promise to love them very mulch. 🫶

Call or text (804) 704-0193 or slide in those DMs. 🌳

Address

Petersburg, VA
23805

Opening Hours

Monday 10am - 7pm
Tuesday 10am - 7pm
Wednesday 10am - 7pm
Thursday 10am - 7pm
Friday 10am - 7pm
Saturday 10am - 7pm
Sunday 10am - 7pm

Telephone

(804) 704-0193

Website

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