08/24/2026
After discovering Clarice Starling in Silence of the Lambs, I had secret dreams of being a profiler. I even remember seeing a flyer my senior year of college advertising Forensic Pathology as a field available at UGA. I really wished I had done that instead of English.
Turns out, my ability to read a scene is applicable to just about anything.
I have become a yard profiler.
Here is an example:
Yesterday (yes, sunday morning), I met a new client in Barrington.
I drive around her house and adjoining streets. I park away from her house and walk up, watching for sight lines. I look for what she sees when she pulls into her driveway. I look at her view when she comes out of the house. I find east. These days, I can do it just by looking at the plants.
Then we meet.
She walks me around and tells me everything about her property.
In the back, the area that she wants the most help, the space she wants to feel more private, we take a pause and she says: "So, what do you think?"
Me: "It's REALLY loud back here. When a car goes by, I feel like we are under assault."
Her: long pause. "Thank you for saying that. NO ONE ELSE thinks it's loud."
Me: "No, this is crazy. I have some ideas about why it's happening and what we can do about it."
Her: "What a relief."
Me: "I can also rearrange all of the plants you have into better spots. Then we can start buying new stuff for in here that is meant for shade and can help with sound reduction. In the places you have sun, we will do sun stuff. Bit by bit."
Her: "Amazing. Now, what do you think about this . . . . ."
Love my job so much.