06/10/2026
Family of Friends Biblical Study, Wednesday, June 10th, 2026
The Fourth Commandment –
“Honor your father and mother”
What does this mean?
“We should fear and love God so that we do not despise or anger our parents and other authorities, but honor them, serve and obey them, love and cherish them.”
You said: NIV Bible, 1978 version: What does it mean, "We should fear and love God?
In the context of the Bible, to "fear and love God" means to hold a profound, awe-filled reverence for His absolute holiness and power while simultaneously resting in a deep, affectionate trust in His grace and goodness.
While the exact phrase "We should fear and love God" is actually the famous opening explanation to each of the Ten Commandments in Martin Luther's Small Catechism rather than a direct, singular verse in the 1978 New International Version (NIV) Bible, it perfectly synthesizes a core, recurring theme found across both the Old and New Testaments.
· The concept functions as a unified approach to faith through these distinct elements:
What it Means to "Fear" God
The biblical concept of "fear" (translated from Hebrew words like yir’ah and Greek like phobos) is not about cowering in terror or worrying that God is a malicious threat; it is about:
• Awe and Majesty:
Recognizing the vast, staggering scale of the Creator: It is the overwhelming sense of wonder you feel standing on the edge of a massive, roaring canyon.
• Holy Reverence: Acknowledging that God is perfectly holy, just, and the ultimate authority. It means taking His commands seriously rather than treating Him casually or indifferently.
• The Beginning of Wisdom:
As written in Proverbs 9:10 affirms for us: "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom".
This fear anchors your moral compass, giving you a healthy dread of causing Him grief through intentional wrongdoing.
What it Means to "Love" God
Love provides the warmth, intimacy, and security that balances the immense weight of holy fear.
• Affectionate Devotion:
Loving God means seeking a real, vibrant relationship with Him, responding to the fact that He first loved us.
• Active Obedience:
Loving God is never just a passive feeling: 1 John 5: 3-5, explains:
"This is love for God: to obey his commands.
And his commandments are not burdensome, 4. for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith. 5. Who is it that overcomes the world? Only he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God.”
• Freedom from Terror:
True love removes the toxic, paralyzing dread of eternal punishment; 1 John 4:18 states: "There is no fear in love. But Perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment."
How They Work Together:
Fear and love are not opposing forces; they are two sides of the same coin.
· If you only fear God, you become a terrified slave obeying out of duty and panic.
· If you only love God without holy fear, you risk treating Him as a trivial peer or a cosmic vending machine, stripping away His majesty.
* Together, they form a healthy relationship: you obey Him because you respect His immense power (fear), and you serve Him joyfully because you trust His beautiful character (love).
Why does the 4th commandment focus on parents and other authorities?
· A mother and father uniquely serve as God’s representatives through whom God bestows and nurtures human life on earth.
· Other authorities (legal guardians, pastors, teachers, employers, government officials) also serve as God’s representatives for the support and protection of our lives on earth.
How do we fear and love God in keeping the Fourth Commandment?
We fear and love God by not despising our parents, guardians, or other authorities.
Despising means:
· Looking down upon them or making fun of them – Proverbs 23: vs 22 –
Listen to your father, who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old.
· Disobeying or rebelling against their God-given authority –
Proverbs 15: 20-
A wise son brings joy to his father, but a foolish man despises his mother.
· Mark 7: vs’s 9 – 13-
9. And Jesus said to them: “You have a fine way of setting aside the commandments of God in order to observe your own traditions.
10. For Moses said, ‘Honor your father and mother,’ and, ‘Anyone who curses his father or mother must be put to death.’ 11. But you say that if a man says to his father or mother: ‘Whatever help you might otherwise have received from me is Corban; (that is, a gift devoted to god), 12. then you no longer let him do anything for his father or mother. 13. Thus you nullify the word of God by your tradition that you have handed down. And you do many things like that.”
· In John 19: vs’s 25 – 27, Jesus teaches us what He would have us do for our parents –
25. Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother, his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary of Magdala. 26. When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, “Dear woman, here is your son,” and to the disciple, “Here is your mother.” From that time on, this disciple took her into his home.
In Ephesians 6:1-4, Jesus gives this promise to those faithful to this commandment.
1. Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
2. “Honor your father and mother” – which is the first commandment with a promise –
3. “that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”
· And at the same time, in vs 4, God gives this instruction to the fathers of the children:
4. Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
Connections and Applications
What if parents or other authorities poorly carry out their vocations from God?
· In faith and obedience to God’s Word, we still need to respect them as those who have been given the privilege of representing God to us.
Are we always to obey our parents and other authorities without question?
No. We must disobey them if they require us to disobey God’s Word.
· Acts 5: 29 – “We must obey God rather than men.”
· Ephesians 6: 1 – “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.”
· We must distinguish between what a government or authority permits people to do and what it compels them to do.
· When it compels us to act contrary to God’s word, then we must disobey and live as God intends.
· When the government permits activities contrary to God’s Word (for example, abortion, no-fault divorce, and same-sex marriage), we bear witness by living as God intended: – We do not sit in judgment.
My prayer for all of us is taken from Luther’s Small Catechism:
Heavenly Father, from whom all fatherhood on earth is given: Give unto us gratitude for the gifts of parents and others in authority and the humility to serve, obey, love, and cherish them as they fulfill the duties and responsibilities You have assigned to them in this life; through Your son, Jesus Christ, our Lord. Amen.
Today’s hymn stanza 4: hymn 581
These Are the Holy Ten Commandments
Stanza # 5
5. You are to honor and obey
Your father, mother every day
Serve them each way that comes to hand;
You’ll then live long in the land.”
Have mercy. Lord!